Bret Hollander

My son and I recently attended the Winston Churchill High School Football Banquet for 2009. During the event, which was held at the Bolger Center in Potomac, MD, the guest speaker, Barry Smith, delivered a very uplifting speech to all attending.

“Okay, fellas, you got your football degrees and its a good time to set goals and devise a plan. Remember, failing to plan is planning to fail. You need a roadmap, but be prepared for unintended detours, confusing signs and closed roads. Don’t be afraid of change or be unwilling to change. Enjoy the journey, wherever it takes you, because that’s your life.

Chances are, success and happiness are among your goals. But be careful, they’re not the same — all successful people aren’t happy and all happy people aren’t successful. If you have to choose, choose happiness. “Take control of your life by taking control of your attitudes. Pain and disappointment are inevitable, but suffering is optional and tough times are always temporary.

Live within your means, and when you mess up, fess up. When you’re in a hole, stop digging. Listen to both your heart and your head. Pursue your passions, but don’t confuse feelings with facts, fun with happiness or pleasure with fulfillment. “Don’t sacrifice a thousand tomorrows for a few todays, and don’t settle for a little life. Live with purpose and for significance. Respect yourself and others, avoid self-righteousness and be kind rather than right.”

Apparently the legal staff at the Transportation Security Administration are as clueless and inept as the guys who search you at the airport. The TSA released an Operating Manual for flight and other screening procedures and thought they had done a knock-up job on redacting certain sensitive areas.

Problem is they attempted to do this with a PDF editor and blew it big time. Instead of printing the document and marking out the areas by hand, they merely placed black boxes over the text in the editor. Call it laziness or stupidity. Either way, the boxes were easily defeated because they are not part of the document. Even a sixth grader with rudimentary knowledge of Acrobat or other PDF editors knows this.

Obviously, the factotums at the TSA need to read one of those Dummy books. It is another example of the kind of help the government hires. And these guys want to run health care?

The areas outlined in red were formerly redacted (click on the image above to download the unredacted document). No telling how long this document will remain on the WikiLeak servers.

At any rate, the document reveals a few things the feds don’t want us to know. For instance, Section 2A-2 (C) (1) (b) (iv) addresses which twelve passports will instantly get you moved to secondary screening. Other juicy details include the procedure for CIA-escorted passengers to be processed and the calibration process of airport metal detectors.

In 1993 when Ty launched their Beanie Babies, children couldn’t get enough of these bean bag animals. Now, almost 17 years later, with my children grown, the lure is gone, but the massive collection of over 500 beanies was just laid out on the living room floor. Now comes the difficult part – do I: 1) inventory all this and put it up on eBay; 2) go to the container store and purchase several hundred miniature boxes and wrap these toys for some needy kids somewhere in the world; or 3) put them in a large trash bag and drop them in a Goodwill receptacle. Your suggestions would be appreciated.

Who doesn’t love snow, especially when it occurs on a weekend. And this deluge began at 9:00am, so that by noon there may be enough ground cover for some serious sliding. Compared to previous years of very irregular weather in the Washington, DC area, this early snowfall makes wintertime all that more fun.

Self-esteem is shaped by your relationships, your experiences and your thoughts. Healthy self-esteem promotes mental well-being, assertiveness, resilience and more.

Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself — how you honestly feel about yourself with all of your successes, abilities, flaws and limits. When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving others’ respect. When you have low self-esteem, on the other hand, you put little value on your opinions and ideas, and you constantly worry that you aren’t “good enough.”

Although the benefits of building healthy self-esteem are often discussed for children, there are plenty of adults who need to work on their self-esteem. Learn how to tell if your self-esteem needs a boost — and the benefits of developing healthy self-esteem.
Factors that shape and influence self-esteem

Self-esteem starts forming early in life. Factors that can influence self-esteem include:

* Other peoples’ reactions to you
* Your own thoughts and perceptions
* School and extracurricular experiences
* Work experiences
* Illness, disability or injury
* Culture
* Religion
* Role and status in society

Relationships with those close to you — parents, siblings, peers, teachers and other important adults — are especially powerful. Many beliefs you hold about yourself today reflect messages you’ve received from these people over time. If your close relationships are good and you receive generally positive feedback, you’re more likely to see yourself as worthwhile. However, if you receive mostly negative feedback and are often criticized, teased or devalued by others, you’re more likely to struggle with poor self-esteem.

But your own thoughts have perhaps the biggest impact on self-esteem — and they are one aspect of self-esteem that you can control. With techniques such as cognitive behavior training, you can learn to reframe negative thinking and self-talk and to correct misperceptions that lead you to focus on your weaknesses or flaws.

The ranges of self-esteem

Self-esteem ranges from very positive to very negative. Neither extreme is healthy. Although self-esteem fluctuates over time, depending on your circumstances, it generally stays in a range that reflects how you feel about yourself overall.

* Overly high self-esteem. If you regard yourself more highly than others do, you may have an unrealistically positive view of yourself. When you have an inflated sense of self-esteem, you often feel superior to those around you. Such feelings can lead you to become arrogant or self-indulgent and believe that you deserve special privileges.
* Low self-esteem. When you have low or negative self-esteem, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. You focus on your perceived weaknesses and faults and give scant credit to your skills and assets. You believe that others are better than you.
* Healthy self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem lies between these two extremes. It means you have a balanced, accurate view of yourself. For instance, you have a good opinion of your abilities but recognize your flaws. When you understand your own worth, you invite the respect of others.

Common characteristics of low self-esteem

It’s normal to go through times when you feel down about yourself. Everyone has times when they feel insecure about their abilities, accomplishments or appearance. However, when you feel bad about yourself in many areas of your life — and these feelings become long-standing — your self-esteem can suffer. Low self-esteem affects not only the way you feel but also the way you behave and interact with others.

How do you know if you think too little of yourself? You may have some of these characteristics of low self-esteem:

* Frequent negative self-talk, such as, “I’m a failure,” or “I’ll never amount to anything.”
* Preoccupation with your flaws and weaknesses.
* Need for constant reassurance from others, which doesn’t relieve your insecurity.
* Inability to accept compliments or positive feedback.
* Fear of failure, which holds you back from succeeding at work or school.
* Difficulty handling stressful situations.

Benefits of healthy self-esteem

When you value yourself and have good self-esteem, you feel secure and worthwhile and have generally positive relationships with others. You feel confident about your abilities and tend to do well at school or work. You’re also open to learning and feedback, which can help you acquire and master new skills.

With healthy self-esteem you are:

* Less prone to feelings such as hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt and shame.
* Assertive in expressing your needs and opinions.
* Confident in your ability to make decisions.
* Able to form secure and honest relationships — and less likely to stay in unhealthy ones.
* Realistic in your expectations and less likely to be overcritical of yourself and others.
* More resilient and able to weather stress and setbacks.
* Less likely to develop mental health conditions, such as eating disorders, addictions, depression and anxiety.

Because self-esteem affects every facet of your life, having a healthy, realistic view of yourself is important. Remember, it’s not about blowing your own horn. It’s about learning to like and respect yourself, faults and all.

Boredom is the neediness for something “exciting” to happen. It’s the craving for drama. It’s the attachment/addiction to experiencing physical sensations. It’s the desire to satisfy the physical senses. It’s the wantingness to satisfy animal urges, rather than spiritual peace. It’s the choosing of a temporary instant gratification, over long term well-being. Boredom is the choosing of pleasure over peace, because peace is perceived as being “boring”. It’s the urge to DO something in hopes of finding happiness, instead of simply BEING that something (happiness).

Boredom is the inability to accept life for what it is, as it is in this very moment. Boredom is the inability to see the beauty of the world, as it is right now. It’s the unwillingness to see the perfection of what’s right in front of our faces. It’s the faulty judgemental egoic opinion that something is “wrong” with existence. Boredom is the absence of acceptance, and the rejection of contentness. It’s the neediness to change the situation because the mind refuses to be happy with what is. Boredom is the refusal of happiness in this very moment. When the mind is needy, there always has to be something more. With boredom, things always have to be different than how they already are. Boredom is intolerance and discrimination. Boredom is the absence of love.

Boredom is the anticipation of what could be, but isn’t. It’s the looking forward to what doesn’t exist in reality. It’s the indulgence in an illusionary dream of imagination, and the escaping of reality.

Boredom is a form of anxiety and stress. Boredom determines many of our erroneous actions, and is therefore the source of much of our suffering. Boredom is a psychological problem that is best to be let go of. When one lets boredom take control of them, one is never satisfied (happy/content).

Boredom is the false notion that happiness lies outside oneself. It’s born from the unawareness that happiness can simply be chosen at all moments of life, despite life’s circumstances. Boredom happens because of ignorance and unconsciousness. Boredom is the result of a lack of truth. Boredom is a negativity. Boredom creates problems.

Boredom is the identification with the autonomous cellular neural functioning/activities/thinkingness of the physical brain, instead of the identification with the formless spiritual awareness that silently observes the mind’s automatic functioning/thinking from an “outside” perspective.

Boredom is the worry that something is being missed out on. It’s the fear of doing nothing. It’s the fear of silence, or more specifically, the fear of the silence of your own mind. It’s the fear that one’s life will come to an end if one stops thinking. It’s the fear that the “me”, “myself”, and “I” might die. Boredom is the fear of death because the automatic thinkingness of the mind is falsely identified as being “me”.

When one takes control of the mind (lets it go), instead of being controlled by it, boredom becomes non-existent, and happiness/joy/contentness/peace then becomes permanent, instead of just temporary. When one’s happiness is no longer limited to only when experiencing external phenomena, one realizes that the true source of happiness is, and always has been, found and experienced within, as a choice. Happiness is an inner choice, right here, right now, and always, no matter what life’s external happenings are. The outer becomes completely irrelevant as one becomes immersed in this permanent inwardly experienced happiness/joy/bliss/ecstasy. And this profoundly ineffable bliss/ecstasy/peace is far beyond any physical sensation that one could possibly imagine (and yes, that includes sex). All that one has to do is refuse the mind’s activities, and choose to be it.

Boredom can’t be quenched. It can only be let go of.

The symptoms of moderate depression are similar to those of mild depression, but are worse and are present most of the time. You can pull yourself together for short periods only:

- You are sad
- You lack energy
- You show less of an interest in the world around you.

Your thoughts center on:

- Feelings of guilt
- Low self-esteem

The people around you find it hard to understand why you feel guilty. You are also less happy with people or things in general.

You have little interest in your family or work. Your ability to concentrate is significantly impaired. You stop watching movies and your favourite TV programs, reading newspapers or books. You find it hard to concentrate.

Tiny everyday decisions may feel insurmountable. It can be hard to decide what you should buy for dinner. You have no desire to go out on the town or entertain guests.

If you suffer from moderate depression, you will normally suffer from mood changes during the day. This means that you may be miserable in the morning but better towards the evening.

Your sleep is disturbed. You don’t feel rested. You may find it easy to fall asleep, but wake up after a few hours and can’t drift off again. Many people find lying awake during the early hours very stressful. Here you are all alone with your sad thoughts.

You may find your appetite reduces during a bout of moderate depression. It’s not unusual to lose 5-10% of your normal weight.

You generally lose your sex drive – you may need closeness and contact but find it difficult. Your lack of sex drive may trigger more feelings of guilt.

Lap Band, Gastric Bypass, Liquid Protein, South Beach Diet – what is the best bariatric weight-loss solution that will keep the weight off permanently, even if you have an insatiable appetite, and live by the mantra of “I live to eat”!

All weight loss surgeries work by making the stomach smaller (restrictive procedures) and/or creating changes in the digestive tract which do not permit the body to absorb all of the fats in the food you eat (called malabsorptive procedures).The Duodenal Switch (DS) is a combination restrictive and malabsorptive surgery. The stomach is made smaller and the intestines are rerouted so that you can’t absorb all the food you eat. Because of this malabsorption it’s essential that you monitor your vitamin levels and take your prescribed vitamins for the rest of your life. It’s also the malabsorption that can cause diarrhea if you eat too much fat. The undigested fat in your colon can cause gas problems, but they usually improve in the first 6 months after surgery.

The DS is similar to the Roux en-Y Gastric Bypass (RNY) with respect to the intestinal bypass (malabsorptive) portion of the procedure. The lower part of this surgery is basically the same as a distal RNY. RNY’s are done either proximal (with a shorter length of the intestines bypassed) or distal (with more of the intestines bypassed). Studies have shown that people who have distal bypasses have greater success at losing large amounts of weight and keeping it off.

The RNY and DS are very different with respect to what is done at the top end of the surgery — the portion involving the stomach (the restrictive aspect of the surgery). The RNY doctors do a variety of things to make the stomach smaller — most create “pouches” or transect (divide) the stomach. They then reroute the intestines by connecting them directly to the new stomach pouch, bypassing the duodenum. In the RNY/pouch procedures, the pyloric valve (which regulates the emptying of stomach contents into the duodenum) is bypassed and therefore doesn’t function after surgery.

In the DS procedure, the surgeon creates a smaller stomach by removing about 75% of the stomach (which is called a partial gastrectomy). The top part of the gastric bypass is connected below the duodenum which keeps the upper part of the digestive process the same as before surgery (except that your stomach is smaller). Your pyloric valve continues to regulate the emptying of the stomach contents into the duodenum and all of the hormones and secretions that occur in the duodenum continue after surgery.

In RNY/pouch procedures, the duodenum and pyloric valve are bypassed and the intestines are connected to the newly created stomach pouch. Dumping happens when the stomach contents (unregulated by the pyloric valve which has been bypassed) dump directly from the new stomach pouch into the intestine. Eating sugars can cause dumping for many RNY/pouch patients. For this reason, they must be very careful of sugars. Some feel that this type of surgery with the dumping syndrome is the best option for people who eat a lot of sweets, since the dumping acts as a deterrent to eating sweets.

Since our pyloric valve and duodenum are left functioning as before, we DS patients don’t have dumping syndrome, nor a risk of staple line problems, clogging of the anastamosis, ulcers at the stoma, etc. (remember, we don’t have pouches or stomas). So, we don’t have the problems with “stretching” the pouch or getting something stuck in the stoma — because what we have is our real stomach, connected the same way it was before surgery to the duodenum.

Good luck in sorting all of this out!! Of course, I’m biased but I believe the Duodenal Switch is the best surgery for morbid obesity.